A Tale of Two Kingdoms | Part 2 | To Tell the Ancient Story in the New World
“Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
The wild beasts will honor me,
the jackals and the ostriches,
for I give water in the wilderness,
rivers in the desert,
to give drink to my chosen people,
The people whom I formed for myself.”
I wonder if you can feel it too? This energy sweeping around the globe right now, pouring out from the galactic centre, the heartbeat of the Universe? When I tune into it, I see God-As-Divine-Mother, singing a lullaby.
Its the same energy I remember being in when my babies were still small enough to rock in my arms and sing to sleep swaddled up tight after they had enjoyed a particularly vigorous or energetic day and their central nervous systems were overstimulated and needed to calm down. I would hold them close to my chest, so they could feel my heartbeat next to their skin, and slow my breathing into the gentle hum of the song my grandmother used to sing to me. We are being calmed and settled next to the breast of God while we try and regulate our central nervous systems, and finally let go of the things of this era which have reached their natural conclusions.
Worldviews.
Job contracts.
Belief systems.
Dearly-held hopes and dreams.
Structures which are not resilient.
Relationships which have completed their natural cycles.
Old griefs which have finally worked their way through the soul and are ready to be released into memory.
This kind of energy makes me incredibly sleepy. Every afternoon for about two weeks I’ve just wanted to crawl into bed and nap. Others have also said the same thing to me. This is because, as a human collective, we are at a completion point now. About to experience the mystery of life / death / life which echoes in cosmologies of every stripe this time of year. I was raised in was the Christ-shaped one, and it is still my portal into this mystery.
It is a time of profound grief, and of deep hope. Side by side.
I believe, that we are all being issued with a collective invitation into a fresh baptism. That the energy right now carries inside its blueprint what we are ready to let go of and embrace, how we are ready to show up in our lives in new ways and where we have finally outgrown things that no longer serve the greater good.
This baptism is the one the apostle John talked about, it is a baptism of fresh fire for a fresh generation.
A baptism into the Kingdom of Love.
You cannot find this baptism in the sturdy liturgical volumes which sit on my desk at work. You may not ask a priest to perform it for you. Its rites and ceremonies are not something you can google.
To be baptised into the Kingdom of Love, you must understand the journey of the Christ in his last hours on earth. First you must be dragged in front of your accusers. For most of us, the loudest and most obnoxious voices come from within, our own inner critics. When they accuse us, we must realise that no answer will satisfy them. We must look at them in the eye and tell them to pronounce their judgement and be done with it. Then we must make the long and exhausting walk up the hill to our own crucifixion, bearing the weight of all the sorrow and grief and pain that has our name on it. The things we have done and said, the things we left undone and unsaid. The transgressions we committed, and those which were committed against us. We must reckon with all of this weight, and feel our own heft and skin drawn tight against its dimensions, understand that in this grotesque tableau we are all the participants at once. We are mocking, we are mocked. We are crucified, we are passively observing. We are denying, we are grieving. We are gambling and waiting and groaning for redemption. We are interceding and we are forgiving. We are desperate and we are those saved at the last moment by grace.
I can’t tell you how to find this baptism, other than to try a few things and see how your soul feels afterwards.
You might try poetry, or silence. You might try therapy and long walks. You might try sound healing or floating in a salt-water pod. You could try confession or wailing for your broken heart face down in the grass and partake like the parched ground of your tears watering the quiet earth. You might try ayahuasca or meditation or you might travel through the stars at night and locate your own broken soul in the Christ Consciousness.
Back in the days when I was an arrogant wannabe-scholar and student of theology, I would have quietly sniggered at those who had gone in for multiple baptisms. Like someone taking out life insurance policies with too many companies at once.
Let me tell you though, this baptism into the Kingdom of Love is not a one-and-done thing. Its more like a Fibonacci sequence; each fresh fire-storm revealing a new landscape of generosity, spaciousness and cracked-open heart-space. This kind of baptism is so powerful that it cannot be located inside a discrete pocket of linear time. The only way to approach an understanding of it is through the lens of the quantum field, mystery, process theology or existential thought. It never stops. It is a continual unfoldment.
It is, fundamentally, a shift toward deliberate consciousness, toward an energetic universe, away from the concrete, templated, matter-based features of the Kingdom of Empire. Any structures which are based on hierarchy, non-renewable resources, power and control, physical buildings, exploitation of any kind, centralised leadership or top-down management, are currently on notice for their thirty-year wind down period. Those of us who have a role to play in being their death-doulas, offering them a dignified and gracious exit, we are the ones who can no longer escape this fire-baptism into the Kingdom of Love.
It is time for us to take our places.
We are getting ready to welcome a new world which includes a flexible, intuitive, energetic, soulful, creative, dynamic, fluid, future-focused, resilient, flat-structured and sustainable models for life. These qualities will be baseline expectations in our businesses, work-projects, communities, relationships, spiritual pursuits, creative endeavours and in every other field you can imagine.
How do I know this? I could tell you that I have seen it. Or that I am seeing it. Or that this is how the energy is moving now, and that I have learned to read energy. Energy is fluid though, the future is not fixed but emergent. We all have free will, and some of us will refuse this invitation, which is our right as sovereign beings.
One of my wisest and cleverest friends, Tanya Riches, recently made the astute observation in a Facebook post that if you were a person who was invested in the world as it was before environmental crisis, a pandemic, Black Lives Matters and the #metoo movement, then you were going to have to fight a lot of people energised for real change.
I couldn’t agree more.
For many of us, these events have triggered significant re-evaluation of our own internal meaning-making matrices. Lots of us decided that it was time for us to do some deconstruction, and then some reconstruction.
When you start to make deep, difficult and necessary changes as a natural result of a spiritual evolution in your soulful life, the ego arcs up. The ego is the part of our consciousness which is designed to keep us safe. And so the ego will tell us the same old story, “hang on, you don’t want to do that, you don’t want to move into more uncertainty.” The ego quite likes the Kingdom of Empire, because it has the illusion of safety. It also holds the illusion as being the container for the Ancient Stories.
But this is not actually the case.
Nothing can contain the Ancient Stories, they are not intended to be contained, but to be shared, applied, re-told, re-worked and re-imagined for every new generation. The Kingdom of Empire, is in fact, the container for the long history of tradition. And it is normal for folks who have been indoctrinated to confuse their epistemology with their theology and think they are one and the same.
The invitation to a new baptism comes, in the great teaching tradition of Jesus, in the form of a question.
“What are you projecting into the unknown, based on your past experiences that might not be true anymore?”
Lots of people point out that it is normal to be afraid of the unknown. But this is not actually the case. The unknown is the unknown. We are not really afraid of it, we can’t be, because we have no idea what it holds! “The Unknown” is simply the trajectories of a billion possibilities, all ready to be shaped and co-created by our consciousness in partnership with Divine.
When we say ‘I am afraid of the unknown’, what we are really saying is ‘I am afraid of what I am currently projecting out from my own field of consciousness into the quantum realm.” Those are two very different things, in point of fact. What we project into the ‘unknown future’ is largely a function of our family of origin, our trauma-patterning, our religious or cultural conditioning and our deepest fears and insecurities. Future-gazing is, in fact, an epic exercise in projection. Projection, far from being something we should avoid doing, is – in fact - a powerful tool at our disposal, which we can use to co-create our reality.
Be warned, like any tool, it does the bidding of the user.
Our projections are in fact energetic imprints which carry the weight of our focus. This is how we end up with self-fulfilling prophecies left, right and centre in our lives. This is also why all those self-help gurus who are in the spirituality business are making millions teaching people how to ‘manifest.’ Because it works. Except, what they don’t tell you is that the manifestation brings us exactly what we focus on, and what they can’t do, is work one on one with their many followers to fundamentally re-write their deepest internal patterning so that they can actually shift their energy enough to manifest the good stuff. This is why they are no more helpful than pastors of mega-churches when it comes to actual transformation.
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it for a moment, while you mull over the number of ‘turn or burn’ sermons you’ve listened to in your life, which feature a vengeful, wrathful and violent god who is like a jealous, narcissistic ex watching your every move. Or try it on for size as you reflect on the number of times your pastor taught you that Jesus had to die for your many, many sins, because they were so bad, they needed a blood atonement sacrifice. Think about how without missing a beat that same preacher would assure you that God is loving, kind and good. Right after they told you that “He” had planned all along to kill his own son *just for you*. Honestly, that kind of mind-bendingly coercive and abusive theology sinks deep into the soul and creates psychic schisms so deep and wide that they take decades to heal. Just think, for a tiny moment, about how your consciousness has co-created your current reality to reflect that, if that is what you sincerely believed, held on to and focused on. Imagine, if you will, how the state of your current relationships, employment and state of mind might reflect the subtle message which is the bread-and-butter of the evangelical church, that our value and worth is contingent on what we can produce, earn, demonstrate or contribute. Or, even worse, that it is contingent on our ability to demonstrate absolute allegiance to the unspoken moral and theological frames, including repressing, denying or scapegoating our truest selves to show a false self which is palatable to the power-brokers in our worlds.
In fact, it is the most basic human instinct to, when facing the unknown, to allow the ego to trot out a low-light reel of allll the scary, awful, hard and difficult frontiers we’ve already traversed. This is because, the ego fundamentally fears change, because change and disruption can bring with them hardship, suffering or pain. They can also bring with them delight, blessing and dream-fulfilment, which is how the soul will render the future-gaze into the quantum field, if only we will let it. The soul is the Divine DNA left behind in us to steer us home, to navigate us into ultimate fulfilment, into union with self, others, and the earth, which are the portals by which we enter into ultimate union with the God-self.
The gift of consciousness is the emerging ability to hold a conversation with our own internal ‘parts’, and allow each one to be heard and respected.
What I have discovered about the egoic part of my own internal ‘council of elders’, is that it does not do well just being shut down or ignored. When we shut down or ignore the ego, it delivers us into anxiety. If we decide, as I think all evolved, spiritually mature humans do at one point or another, that it will be our soulful voice, or if you like ‘the mind of Christ’, which we would like to steer our ship, we must eventually reckon with our ego.
I like to allow my ego a seat at my internal round-table, and when it pipes up, I thank it for its contribution, acknowledge its important role in keeping me safe, and remind it that my own soulful authority which is now in charge, has the command of the steering wheel, and while its concerns have been noted, they are not going to be the deciding factor in the matter at hand.
What I have slowly done, over the last year or so in practicing this, is finally allowed myself to undergo the process which the apostle Paul talks about when he exhorts his listeners to ‘be transformed by the renewing of your mind.’ As I slowly healed, re-patterned, ministered to, and rested my mind, it was allowed to finally unfurl and be reconfigured. In this new configuration, everyone gets a seat at the internal table, including the ego, the shadow, the soul, the rational mind, the inner child, the mature adult – and as always – the fool. The Fool is my favourite character in my inner world, because she is always ready to step off the edge of a cliff and take a fantastic risk into a great adventure. She has gotten me into a bit of hot water in the past, but she has also gotten me into all my favourite chapters of my story. This might make me sound schizophrenic to you, but one of my dearest and most trusted friends is one of the best psychiatrists in our state and he assures me that I am not. (I checked) In fact, learning to operate my internal world like this this is how I managed to enter into my most restful, vibrant, productive, abundant, whole and lovely season of life yet.
The stories that my soul tells me about the future unknowns, as she gazes out across the quantum field (which is what I get paid to do all day long these days, mostly for others’ benefit), are incredibly beautiful. Because I have allowed, finally, my soulful voice to be the one in charge of my own journey. I have sunk deeply down into the meeting place of my own divine feminine wisdom, and the Divine wisdom available to me in every moment as breath, spirit, presence and the attention of the Holy Spirit. From this place, I have begun to see some powerful, dynamic, hopeful and fruitful new futures. For myself, and for others.
The stories I see in the unknown before me are underpinned by some very significant shifts in my theological foundation, which have supported my soul’s evolution. They include the conviction that there is no separation between particles, which means that there is no us/them when it comes to humans and God, which is the ultimate meaning of the incarnation of Jesus. This leads me to project into my own ‘unknown’ future, the delightful possibility of ever deepening connection with all my relationships, where the mind of Christ is always known and understood and is therefore central to all of it. The ongoing inhabitation of the Christ Consciousness by my own embodied self becomes both my destination, and also my journey.
I am convinced, now, that we come from goodness, from original blessing, original love, and original divine order, and are making our way back to that place with every moment and every breath and that nothing can stop it. This means that all the things we think are mistakes, or failures, or wounds, are simply turned into fertile ground for a rich harvest of a sacred and nourishing crop when turned over into the hands of a loving and endlessly creative, just and merciful Divine Mystery. This means that in my future I no longer fear nasty repercussions for any of my own failures because I am endlessly supported by the trust that comes with knowing that my only task is to stay utterly submitted to Love, and what it asks of me, and that will shape and mould my heart to support whatever is needed in the days to come. It doesn’t mean the repercussions won’t come, it just means that I won’t fear them. This leaves me free to be constantly re-orienting in the direction of Love, and not being driven by Fear. This is how we slowly move out of the old Kingdom of Empire into the Kingdom of Love.
My soul now believes with every fibre in my being, that I am loved because I am, because I exist. Not because of anything I can do or say or be, or because of any impressive (or super dodgy) contributions I might make. This means the weight of the world is off my shoulders for good, and I am utterly free to play and co-create a life where joy and play and freedom and abundance are just baseline expectations. This also means I realise I am worthy (by virtue of the breath in my lungs and no other fact) of every good and perfect gift which comes from Divine, which means my hands are always overflowing with good gifts these days.
This is how, without even trying, I manifested a new vehicle into my life – a Land Rover, gifted to me. The day after I kind of hinted at it to God in passing, somewhat apologetically. As in “hey, listen, like NBD but maybe do you think we could table me upgrading my truck? And if so, could it be a bit fancier than this ute? Just to, you know, to make the kids happy?” No kidding. I cannot make this stuff up. Even my colour choice was attended to. Ultimately, it is this doctrine of original grace which has also freed me from the trap of feeling like I need to prove myself to anyone, which has in turn unlocked a whole new suite of gifts which I am now free to offer those who come to see me for spiritual direction, guidance and healing. This is how I have managed to build a life for myself and for my children which is sane, supportive, rhythmic, joyful, present and whole. This is how I have welcomed into my life a number of incredible new soul-tribe friends, a beautiful new job with all the flexibility I want, and a whole new group of clients in two separate private practices who are all deeply invested in their own spiritual growth and development and hungry to learn how to tune in to their own soul’s wisdom. I now need to manifest some partners in this work to help me, because its already outgrowing what I can service alone.
I am not saying any of this to brag, or because I think that I have somehow figured it out. I am telling you this because two years ago my life was insane, not supported at all, driven by workaholism, frantic, fractured and tragic. In the days when I still believed that my worth and identity were tied up in what I could offer the world, I found I had very little to offer, and what did have left me feeling confused and unsure, worn out and depleted, used and exploited. The things I manifested for myself working my ass off in the Kingdom of Empire left me empty handed, lost, exhausted, bewildered, ashamed and alone. I am telling you all this because I want you to realise that these kinds of powerful shifts are possible, and even probable.
The kinds of quantum leaps in human consciousness and development which are available to us right now at this point in time on this planet, in this energy in this particular month, are astounding. This is why even though I was really enjoying a hermitting season, I was prompted to write to you this week, dear ones. Because its really time for us to wake up, and move with the invitation we are being offered.
Day after day I am listening to people who are making huge shifts in their own journey toward consciousness, tuning into a new dynamic and energetic frequency which is singing a new song.
The ancient story has not changed. The Kingdom of Love is still only able to be reached through the narrow path of descent into suffering and death. The way we have always told this story in all its violence and fear-mongering, is dying. A new way is being birthed.
Are you ready for the reign of fire?